When we, me and my friends / workmates, attempted this South-East Asia trip to Thailand (Bangkok, the islands, Chiang Mai), Malaysia, Singapore, Hong Kong… it was me who desperately wanted to travel there, simply because I was unwell, and I needed some good distraction to pump any positive emotions into myself. A journey like that felt like a good idea. (And it was, to some degree.)
I did not want to take them friends with me, and our other friend, the one we shared amongst each other, he persuaded me to take the guys with me. That increased the complexity of the whole project significantly, money and organisation aspect. That worried me greatly. Money wasn’t an issue back then, and I was pretty confident it would be plenty for the three of us, yet, still, single-travel trip would be insignificant to notice, while three-travel trip would be significant, if I’d pay for most things.
We commited that trip, the three of us. And I don’t regret it, that we all went there. In a way, I may regret the breaking of what worked, the company and the office, the business processes, the routine. But it’s all done, and I can only extract some valuable experience and go on with the next adventures.
While being in there, in that region of the planet, I thought of Australia. I’ve met two wonderful girls, Marzia and Illenia.
They are from Italy, but they migrated to Australia, where they lived. We spent a few days together, it was fun. That’s what I wanted from my trip. While being with my friends, I tried to manage every fucking thing, and that was very exhausting. Most things, I managed them poorly or not at all. I was inexperienced and stretched thin. But that’s not what I wanted in the first place. I did not want to take anyone with me, and while I had an excuse of ‘Mike is there,’ all I wanted is to briefly meet there and be lost in the Asian fog. It was difficult to admit back then, but I needed some rest and to change the scenery, change everything, at least briefly. The whole outcome could be just very different, if I’d go alone for a month or two, stop all the work for that time, and have some time to clean my head. That never happened, and I have never attended the retreat Sebastian recommended.
I may, some day. But that would be a completely different story.
I was thinking of Australia. I wanted to go there, I started evaluating the prices, the travel cost, living cost, visa effort, everything. I realised that theoretically I could have money for that, I won’t be able to sponsor the three-of-us trip, and leaving the guys on their own wasn’t really an option too. Would I be alone, I might try that crazy idea. From where I stood, that wasn’t even an option. I don’t blame anyone, and I don’t regret that, simply because that option wasn’t really realistic at that very point. But of course I’d love to have it. And it’s a pleasure to think of it.
I had no particular special interest in Australia, as much as I have never had any particular special interest in most countries out there. I love Singapore and Sweden, but that’s just some special interest and different, I don’t live there now. I think I won’t live in Singapore, I missed that opportunity. I’m not sure about Sweden now, I think I’ve lost it too. I’m at the point, when it’s mentally difficult to migrate elsewhere. Most days, my primary goal is to get some sleep, preferably at night.
Yesterday, I watched this Never Too Small episode about Australia, named ‘Inside the Life of a Japanese Artist in Sydney, Australia’. It was not their typical episode about the place of living, but rather the person. It’s mostly positive vibes and some slab of culture, nothing too special. Yet, I realised I’m craving this rich cultural mix so much! It’s hard to breathe here locally. I love Ukraine, and especially Lviv! But it feels mostly monocultural, and there’s so little for me to get the inspiration from. The country is at war, so it’s just in a completely different paradigm of living, in a survival mode. I have plenty of shared experiences, and I believe that may become difficult to live in some other culture, especially if it’s tolerant to Ruzzia and its fucking ballet pseudo-culture. Or even not tolerant, but just indifferent, and neutral. It’s identical to being indifferent and neutral to Nazi of WWII.
It would come here as well. Ukraine would be a multicultural thriving country after the war. But that would take decades. And sometimes, I just need that breath of fresh air. I feel captured, because travelling to the west, to the EU zone, feels like a separate quest, which I’m not having resources for right now. Videos like Never Too Small, they keep me entertained and inspired, but that does not last long. And I’m sllightly afraid that resource would be emptied quite quickly.