I don’t yell at kids, meaning the aggressive way of doing that. I do yell, as in higher my voice, pretty much every other day. But mostly out of not being able to summon a command voice, I guess.
Yesterday, before sleep, Hnat was jumping as a little monkey, and I had been telling him to stop, stop, stop, to get into the bed, but he ignored me. And he fell on the floor, with his head! I yelled at him, angrily. I even put him forcefully on our bed, slightly throwing him at it. He was crying, and I apologised for this sudden aggression. I told him I was scared for him, that it’s very dangerous to hit a head, and that it’s possible to die that way. He started crying he’s not willing to die. I told him he’s not going to die this time, but I want him to keep his head protected.
I’m not often angry, and I guess the best way is to be calm. If that’s possible to be calm in all situations. I’m not a robot, after all. And, I have no idea how to explain things to Nadia. Hnat understands me, after all. Nadia does not. I yell at her sometimes, so she’d read the emotion: this is not good. Nadia eats grubs casually. I have no idea how to explain her it’s not okay to eat ground. Or sand, she eats sand too. There are crazy ass opinions, that there are so many autistic people these days, as if the reason for that some idiotic conspiracy theory. The truth is: now we know more about this condition, plus these kids survive longer. Our kid might be dead already, if she’s to be born in another country (as wild as Russia) or in another timeline (e.g. Middle Ages). It’s good she’s still alive, and I hope she’d survive till the point of her starting to connect the dots, at least some of them.