I have very little time and energy to write some diary-like texts to this blog, but I think I will try to, sometimes.
So, the other day, I noticed a one legged man walking down the street. He had a prosthesis on his left leg, and I noticed him with the peripheral of my eye. That’s why I turned my head and contemplated him for a while.
A few days passed, and right now, lying in my bed, trying to get asleep, I remembered him. And my thoughts went some long way.
I thought, sometimes having a part of a body missing might be better than having some deep mental trauma. I’m not in a position to say this, as I’m happy to have my body not damaged that severely, and I’m not willing to. But I imagined someone who betrayed his closest ones and wasn’t damaged. Then someone who helped someone, but was damaged. And realised I’m rather feeling closer to someone who thinks of others.
I mean, the trauma itself says nothing at all. And of course different people are different people. But I thought that guy is a hero. He paid the very high price, more likely protecting us all, me and my family included. And probably he can (and should) walk with pride, and have no emotional hardships. Even if that was some really stupid accident, his loss of a limb. And some other guy who spent years doing his best to not serve in the army — I cannot really blame such a guy for many reasons, I’m not in the army after all — probably that other guy, he might feel less proud. That’s a tough thing to formulate properly. Different people have different stations. Not everyone in the army is a hero and a great person. And not everyone not in the army is automatically is some kind of a coward. That’s not what I’m saying. It’s rather when there’s an uncertain situation, and you can help others to not die by the price of some part of your body, that’s a great price to pay, but it still may be cheaper than having these regrets you could, but did not.
Thank you for your service, stranger. As a part of this society, I’ll try to make your life easier somehow. I think we all need that, and that might be healing for everyone in our society.