I remember reading to a book listening to an audiobook of Arnold Schwarzenegger, ‘Be Useful: Seven Tools for Life.’
In the book, he talks about the motivation, and how much the well-defined goal matters.
Well, maybe he does not talk much about it in that book, and just mentions that. I’m not sure, I don’t remember that well. Yet, that sticks.
My guess is that he may talk a lot about it, everywhere he can. I think that makes sense, that’s a very right thing to do, to have a well defined goal.
He does not speak of that as a goal, if I remember that part correctly. He talks about understanding why you need it.
Previously
A decade or two ago —
Oh wow, that sounds … emm, a long time!
A decade or two ago, I had a pretty silly motivation. I wanted to look cool. Strong and sexy, huh! I failed to achieve that goal, achieving it only at the point in life, when I did not attempt to look strong. I did not even try to be strong.
I was so depressed, all I wanted is to bring myself some physical pain, attempting to lower my mental suffering. Since I’m not into masochism, I chose physical exercises. At that point in life, I was very strong and endure physically. I had impressive bicepses and a real six-pack. That was my strongest form so far.
However, I was exercising way too much. Basically, I was spending my days exercising, in various forms.
- A 10 km one-hour run in the morning.
- Then some street exercises,
- with some exercises at home too.
- Then some huge meal of proteins,
- some rest,
- then some light work plus wandering around the city,
- then daily gym,
- then swimming pool,
- then sauna.
And no sex.
New Goal
These days, I’m exhausted. Gravely exhausted.
I have two kids, one of which autistic …
Which means, in terms of ‘having kids’ like having a two-year-old kid for a very long time, since she does not understand basic things, does not talk, and has her special way of developing.
A wife, a living in a warring country with fucking barbarians as neighbours. With some responsibilities and too much to really handle.
I realise that this new ‘grown-up life’ is difficult, and I wasn’t prepared for it. Neither I was trained by someone else (e.g. a parent), nor I trained myself. I have no proper habits to survive when I’m at my lowest. And since I’m constantly under pressure and is not trained to handle it, I’m at my lowest all the time.
It’s a horrible situation to find oneself in.
So, my current goal is very simple. I don’t care much about how I look, but rather I do care about how I feel. I aim at feeling not exhausted. I’m okay with being tired by the evening, but being tired in the morning is not okay.
Of course, there are mental things that exhaust me, and I need to work on them too. But here, I mostly want to focus on physical nature of my exhaustion. I’m weak. I have the extra weight that I don’t need. I have very little muscles.
And I eat shit too. More about my nutrition, in the next post.