In the majority of cases, it is a great relief to a patient to see that she can now recognize and take seriously the things she used to choke off, even if the old patterns come back, again and again, over a long period. But now she begins to understand that this strategy was her only chance to survive. Now she can realize how she still sometimes tries to persuade herself, when she is scared, that she is not; how she belittles her feelings to protect herself, and either does not become aware of them at all, or does so only several days after they have already passed. Gradually, she realizes how she is forced to look for distraction when she is moved, upset, or sad. (When a six-year-old’s mother died, his aunt told him: “You must be brave; don’t cry; now go to your room and play nicely”)
— The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self Third Edition (Alice Miller), Loc. 236–41